Sometimes you get your nails done and they all chip within a the week. It’s really frustrating, actually. Expecting, after having paid $35 to get gel, to have perfect nails for a few weeks. THEY SAID IT WOULD LAST FOR SEVERAL WEEKS. It’s rational to expect something after all evidence points toward said expectation, right? Meh, maybe wrong. See, even though many of my other gel manicures lasted beyond expectation, these, alas, did not.
The past, nor cultural allusions, should dictate your expectations. I remember sitting in philosophy class last year while we were discussing the difference between science and philosophy. Many people think that they are at odds with one another but, in fact, many people we call “philosophers” today were once called scientists. This discussion led us to question the certainty of the future. There is no certainty of the future. Ask any scientist, just because the sun has risen every day for all of time doesn’t guarantee that it will rise tomorrow. Umm, that’s a little crazy, right? But honestly, why do we let things that have happened in the past define our current situation?
Acceptance. Tomorrow, there is a VERY slim chance the sun may not rise. Your nails may chip (despite what they said). He may not feel the same. You might not get that job. Sometimes, shit really sucks; but, expecting things outside of your control to do things that are also outside your control will probably make you feel worse. This is where people get lost, or sometimes even offend. There is this poisonous misconception that expectation are good; sometimes even necessary for relationships. We think this because we have so causally linked expectations with care and love and investment. We think that if we don’t expect anything then we have disconnected from the situation at hand. Wrong. So harmfully wrong. The opposite of expectation isn’t disconnect- it’s acceptance. I accept this job for all of it perks and downfalls it brings. I accept this relationship and all of the struggle and joy that may come of it. I accept you even though you don’t always do the dishes and sometimes say the wrong things. And if one day I don’t accept it, and try to change something other than myself- I walk away. Maybe that’s harsh. Actually, it is harsh. It really sucks to walk away and it’s hard as hell. But why, please tell me why, you would ever sacrifice any great thing about yourself for something that doesn’t (and probably never will) make you happy.
I am there, standing right beside you. Life is a damn struggle sometimes; but if I spend another second wanting to change something or someone instead of accepting it, I will have wasted, completely, a second of my life. Nope, not ok with that.
Ok, I’m off to get my nails done again because, dammit, they look so much better covered in sparkles.